Scientists have revealed the secret: how to forget a failed relationship

Psychologists have discovered how to cope with a breakup and more quickly regain hope for new relationships.

As reported by TUT.AZ with reference to PLOS One, specialists from Poland's SWPS University have made a curious discovery: people find it significantly easier to deal with painful memories if they turn them into a coherent story. This approach allows for a deeper understanding of what was experienced and a far more optimistic outlook on the future.

The study involved 422 women aged 18 to 30 who had recently gone through a romantic breakup and had not entered new relationships at the time of the experiment. Participants were asked to describe their experience. Some constructed a full narrative — with a logical plot development, characters, and an explanation of the reasons behind what happened. Others limited themselves to a brief listing of facts or individual episodes. Members of the control group only answered questions about their past relationships.

A week later, the scientists contacted the volunteers again to assess how their perception of the breakup and their attitude toward potential future romantic relationships had changed.

The results proved quite revealing. Participants who managed to construct a coherent story reflected significantly more often on the reasons for the breakup and the interconnection of various events. According to the Polish researchers, this indicates a deeper processing of emotional experience, which contributes to a healthy recovery from the aftermath of a breakup.

Another notable finding: women from this group spoke about the future noticeably more often, using corresponding future tense forms. A near-complete absence of thoughts about new relationships was observed in only 3.5% of participants, whereas among those who were unable to shape their experience into a coherent narrative, this figure reached 15%.

The study's authors are convinced that turning painful memories into a logically structured story — with characters, motives, and emerging challenges — can become an effective psychological tool. According to the Polish specialists, this method helps reduce emotional strain, reframe negative experiences, and move forward more easily.