Scientists found out when it"s best to text after a first date

Texting the next morning after a first date is the optimal strategy for continuing communication. This is the conclusion reached by an international team of researchers. The study was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (JSPR).

A first date plays a key role in forming attraction and evaluating a potential partner. However, after the meeting, a question inevitably arises: when is the best time to text? Popular culture has long embraced the so-called "three-day rule" — the idea that one should wait before reaching out to avoid appearing too eager.

To scientifically test this myth, a team led by Lars Teichmann conducted an experiment involving more than 500 volunteers from the US and the UK. Each participant was asked to imagine a date after which a potential partner reached out either immediately, the next morning, or two days later.

The results were unequivocal: the greatest interest in continuing the relationship arose specifically when the message was sent the next morning. Immediate contact was perceived slightly less favorably, while two days of silence significantly reduced the desire to continue communication.

Additional analysis revealed the mechanism behind this effect. A quick response — whether immediate or the next morning — signals interest and reliability, whereas prolonged silence creates an impression of indifference.

"Our data show that an early message works better, but the optimal timing turns out to be the next day: it maintains a sense of interest and strengthens the desire to continue the relationship. Too long a pause, on the contrary, produces the opposite effect," the study authors noted.

Notably, the popular strategy of "playing hard to get" completely failed: waiting did not increase a person's "value" in a partner's eyes and did not make them think about the person more.

The authors emphasized that the study was based on hypothetical scenarios, and in real life other factors also matter — message content, communication style, and cultural context. Nevertheless, the work convincingly demonstrates that when it comes to the first message after a date, a "golden mean" truly does exist.