12 Jun , 15:35
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About 60% of couples argue more on vacation than they do at home. To avoid this, you need a pre-vacation agreement technique.
Psychologist Elena Shpagina, associate professor at the Department of Humanities and Social Sciences at the Institute of Management Technologies of RTU MIREA, shared this in a conversation with gazeta.ru.
"At home, each partner has their own familiar roles and refuges. One goes to work, another takes care of the children, another retreats to their study. These invisible boundaries reduce friction. On vacation, however, all buffers disappear. You find yourselves in a confined space 24/7, and irritation begins to build up from every joint decision — where to go, what to eat, what time to get up. On top of that, both partners often arrive with inflated expectations of a perfect vacation, and any discrepancy between reality and the picture in their head gets blamed on the other person. He suggested the wrong thing, didn't smile the right way, doesn't want to have fun enough," Shpagina explained.
According to the expert, the pre-vacation agreement technique can be a lifesaver. Even before buying tickets, it's worth sitting down and honestly discussing four key things.
"First — the budget. Who spends how much, who pays for dinner, whether it's okay to buy souvenirs without checking with each other. Financial conflicts on vacation arise suddenly and ruin the mood instantly. Second — the daily schedule. One person wants to sleep until noon, the other wants to greet the sunrise. If this isn't discussed in advance, one person will feel like a hostage to the other the entire trip. Third, and perhaps the most important — the right to solitude. Every person needs time to be alone, even on the most romantic trip. Agree in advance that a couple of hours a day when each person does their own thing — reading, walking, scrolling through their phone — is not rejection, but a normal need. And fourth — each person's sacred activities. If one person's essential ritual is morning coffee on the balcony, and the other's is an evening swim, then these rituals must not be disrupted — they are a personal battery," the psychologist noted.
Another important point is the distribution of responsibilities. Decide in advance who is in charge of logistics, who handles choosing restaurants, and who takes care of the first-aid kit. When everyone knows their area of responsibility, there are significantly fewer reasons for complaints. Psychological preparation for a vacation is more important than packing a suitcase. Spend an hour on a conversation before the trip — and save yourself a week of stress during the journey.
